In the end all we have is the road. Us and the road. How I wish this was true, especially yesterday when I took hold of the brand new Jaguar XK R. Winding down some quiet roads in the Magaliesberg area I could swear the road was the only thing ahead of me. Alas, it wasn’t to be. As soon as the two-door cat started to get into its stride up a mountain pass what appears if not a procession being led by a ten tonne truck!
Patience became my new motto as my mind argued with my right foot on the next plan of action. Attempt a pass at eight cars and risk it all for the glory of the heart, or stay put until the road flattened out so I could at least see a kilometre away? I chose the latter, if only by the skin of its teeth.
And the road did straighten out eventually into a long stretch of clear air. I flicked on the indicator stalk, almost smashed the floor with my right foot and heard the sound of 500-odd horses neighing ever so loudly from underneath the bonnet. It used to be said that Jaguars behave in a certain way, that they have poise and class. I’m pretty sure they still do but now they have what we call vuma. Especially this XK R which has me feeling like a guy who’s just stolen a really expensive toy.
I could have stolen it too by the way, if only I had found where they hid the key! See, this is one of those cars that only needs to detect the key nearby in order for the driver to press the brake pedal and push the start button so as to begin the XK R experience. Jaguar told us before we left for the 160km drive that we shouldn’t bother looking for the damn key. No matter, I’m on the way anyway.
The little moments I steal to glance around say this is still a Jaguar, by and large. It is comfortable, spacious at the front (not at all the rear though; two seats only fit for people under 4), luxurious and plush. The A pillar holding on to the windscreen is covered in soft Alcantara (suede) leather, the dashboard is mostly double-stitched leather with switchgear in a combination of wood grain, leather and gleaming aluminium. Through the touch screen functions like the dual air conditioning, satellite navigation, and music. Speaking of music, there was a USB port in the centre console which let me play many of the 600 MP3 and WMA songs in my memory stick. Just stick it in and it plays, simple.
Two versions of the XK R will be sold, a Coupe and a soft-top Convertible. Two “lesser” models will be sold alongside the R cars. My pussy was the former and I kept glancing at those driving the latter with envy, their smiles wider than the wheels arches and their hair getting messed up by the winds of nature. Winter in Gauteng can be unforgiving, yet not dropping the top on a Jaguar XK R can possibly be more unforgivable. At least I could admire them as they swooshed past.
Meanwhile, all I could do was to roll down the window and listen to the supercharged 5.0-litre V8 speak in tongues that I totally understood. There really isn’t much mystery behind the new powerhouse from the Jaguar stable. Maximum thrust is given to be 380kW at 6000rpm while maximum torque is 625Nm between 2500rpm and 5500rpm. So there is plenty of room to torque around using the 6-speed automatic gearbox with paddle shifts behind the steering wheel.
Jaguar says that although the 4.8m-long XK R weighs 1753kg it will shoot off from 0 - 100km/h in just 4.8 seconds in ideal conditions and achieve a top end of 250km/h. The average combined fuel consumption figure is stated at 12.3 litres per 100km from the 71 litre fuel tank. Quoted C02 emissions are 292g/km which is remarkable for a 517hp car.
At times I couldn’t help but wonder if this Jaguar, which is more powerful than a BMW M6, is better than the Hun. I’m sure for some it is, given its disposition towards a more subtle approach to power delivery compared to the M6’s more gung-ho overtures. The M6 incidentally, is the scariest car I’ve ever driven. Ever. It’s too macho, too manly for me. Another choice for someone looking for a more subdued car, albeit with a soundtrack suitable for hunting werewolves, would go for the 378kW 6.2-litre V8 Mercedes-Benz SL 63 AMG.
So I guess the Jaguar XF R would suit a man in my position, someone looking for a really fast luxury coupe but without too much drama. And no, he wouldn’t have to be 65 years old either. I’m certainly not.
Jaguar XK Pricing
XK 5.0-litre Coupe
R990 000
XK 5.0-litre Convertible
R1 070 000
XK R 5.0-litre Supercharged Coupe
R1 170 000
XK R 5.0-litre Supercharged Convertible
R1 250 000
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