BMW M3 FROZEN SLIDES THROUGH KHAYALAMI

That exhaust note alone is worth a million. I lie. It’s probably worth a little more. BMW’s M3 Frozen Edition is here and boy has it made its presence felt. An hour around the famed Khayalami race track not only reconfirmed M3’s spot as the most iconic BMW of all time, but it also perched it top of its class in the German compact sedan punch-up. Had it not been for BMW’s cover-all-the-bases PR department, I would not have been able to say these true words.

The M3 Frozen Edition is of course based on the M3 Coupe, which in turn is based on the 3 Series Coupe. Very loosely though. Only 20% of the 3 Series Coupe’s components are carried over into a standard M3, and they include mundane items such as the headlights and the two doors. I think they even share a badge.

Where the normal M3 kicks out 309kW, the Frozen goes further. Exactly 21kW further, thus confirming it as the second most powerful M3 ever manufactured officially, at 330kW produced at 8400rpm. Top dog is still the M3 GTS which we are not getting in Mzansi. But that has a 4.4-litre V8 so it is allowed to be. Peak torque is 420Nm at 3900rpm and the differences are stark.

BMW South Africa engineers who collaborated with the boys at AC Schnitzer to produce only 25 of these cars, are confident nothing in its segment will touch it. And so to test their confidence I took one out on Khayalami, to test my own confidence.

From the moment I pushed that “start” button on the dashboard I knew my confidence would have to take second place to the mighty M3 Frozen. Soon enough I was proven correct, for at the third left-hander something snaps. Specifically the rear end, and it threatens to plough me straight into the wall. Quick reflexes and a look of surprise on my part brought things back to normal. A glance at the DSC button reveals that all is still well; the nanny is in the house. My memory bank recalls 20 minutes earlier when BMW’s PR big gun laid down the law, using words like “don’t” and “switch off” and “DSC” and “under no circumstances” and “otherwise”….

I certainly did not touch this famous button. Not even to try it out for size. Promise. Before I can fully digest the situation, turn 6 springs upon me. Another rear dance. This time I‘m almost ready for it. Same story at turn 7. And at Wesbank corner. By now I’ve realised that although the badge says BMW, I’m actually in the company of Michael Jackson the moonwalker. What a handful this car is, with traction control on. What happens when you switch it off? There is no way I will ever find out. Ever. Not even for money.

The M3 Frozen is not just about playing ice hockey on tar though. It is pinpoint accurate and places itself precisely where you ask it to. That’s perhaps why, even as me and my 245/40 ZR19 / 265/40 ZR19 shoes waltz another lap down mineshaft, I can still get some respect from my commands.

I love the 7-speed M-DCT gearbox. It’s one of the best, if not the best double-clutch system on the market. I say that because it can be driven in relaxed mode where changes are seamless, almost CVT-like. You cannot even feel it change. Touching a certain button five times changes the transmission’s character 180-degrees and things like necks start snapping at about the same time as when gears change. Thank goodness no manual is being sold with this car. I know, I’m supposed to be this petrol-head who lives for burnt clutches and stalling cars. I live in Johannesburg. Does the word traffic mean anything to you? If I can get driving nirvana from an “automatic”, at the same time saving my left calf, why not?

BMW didn’t fall for the whole flat-bottom steering wheel trend adopted by its rivals at this level. The interior is of the highest standards, as per usual BMW requirements, with red stitching on black leather throughout the cabin. There isn’t as much chrome/ aluminium as one might have expected on stuff like the foot pedals, meaning it’s more man than boy racer. And make no mistake this is a man’s car. From that matt black or grey exterior paintwork (it can be washed at the bay, as long as they use soft sponges), to the hard nose, the high dome on the bonnet, those four tailpipes and black 19-inch wheels, to the eargasm induced just by pushing the start button.

For the price there’s nothing to make one feel this alive, this close to the edge, this normal too. While I respect M’s decision to create the M3 Frozen as a celebration of 25 years of M3s, I do feel a little short changed, especially after driving the normal car on the track as well. This is the M3 they should have made in the first place.

M3 Frozen Edition Pricing

R1 180 000