ON THE ROAD: JAGUAR XFR

What a beauty!

Jaguar is back to designing and building lovely fast cars, and the XFR is what this new image is all about. Brutal without being barbaric, brawn without the bad breath…

A sissy car then?

Never. Not in a million years. The XFR is based on the XF sedan which is shaped rather like a coupe than a sedan at the rear. Lines are clean and smooth, flowing from side to side, front to back, sweeping across through every angle. But there are elements that give away its top-of-the-range status. Like those two louvers on the bonnet for example, with the word “Supercharged” stamped hard on them. Move to the sides and discover wide side skirts that accentuate those massive 20-inch wheels. Check those R-badged brake callipers, signalling some serious stopping power.

At the back a slight aerodynamic boot lip, another R badge and four tailpipes round off what could only be described as an English stealth bomber. Owned by Indians. Whoa!

Surely the interior is more aggressive?

It’s not. Remember, this is not a boy racer. Executives don’t appreciate too much show on their go. They like to think they are being subtle inside their family sedans while blowing the socks off pedigreed sports cars. Niceties like air conditioning, touch-screen navigation, heated/cooled electrically adjustable leather seats, and a USB port (mated to a Harman Kardon sound blaster) are necessary in this class. Having said that I do feel your pain. A bit more “sabre tooth” would be more appreciated instead of basically walking into the same interior as any other XF model. Where are the bucket leather seats, perforated steering wheel, aluminium pedals and the like? I for one would have liked those.

Purr the pussy?

Roar the tiger is more like it! Let it detect the key in your pocket, push the “Start Engine Stop” button and release the anger. That’s 500 mad horses previously locked inside the rear-wheel-driven 5.0-litre supercharged V8, now available to your right foot at will. Tap on the accelerator pedal only slightly to wake the monsters up. Swing the JaguarDrive Selector to D and you’ll access normal drive mode, for everyday driving pleasure. Slot it into S, pull back on the left paddle behind the steering wheel and get ready to be dazzled.

Take a quick glance at the acceleration times for the scare of your life. And those times were achieved in Gauteng at 1450m altitude. That’s your pussy blower in full action. Let it blow too high and the price is evident at the fuel pumps.

The Jaguar XFR is as adept on straight lines as it is on curvy roads. Believe me. DSC is always available as a safety cushion and intervenes in good time when switched on. In off mode the rear wheels will of course get out of shape but not too early, giving you plenty of time to react.

Best in class?

I’d say so, reservedly.

Why reservedly?

Because the Audi RS 6 is such monster when the mood takes it. Those times are few and far between though, unlike the XFR which can be called upon to perform at any time, anywhere, without the need to pamper it or to beg it first, over and over again. It’s like a Zulu lover dressed in Italian clothing.

QUICK STATS

JAGUAR XFR

ENGINE: 5.0-litre V8, supercharged

POWER: 375kW at 6000rpm; 625Nm at 2500rpm

0 – 100KM/H: 4.6 seconds

GEARBOX: 6-speed automatic

TOP SPEED: 250km/h

FUEL AVERAGE: 19.2 l/100km

CO2 e: 298 g/km

WHEELS AND TYRES: 20x8,5J front,20x9,5J rear, with 285/30 front and 255/35 rear Dunlop SP Sport Maxx tyres

PRICE STANDARD: R955 000

NATURAL RIVALS: Audi RS 6, BMW M5, Cadillac CTS-V, Mercedes-Benz E 63 AMG

*PRICE RIVALS: BMW 650i Coupe manual, Lexus LS 460, Mercedes-Benz GL 500, Volkswagen Touareg V10 TDI R50

BABE-MAGNETIC FACTOR: Very High

*A price rival falls within R20 000 or so of the subject’s price on either side of its price spectrum for cars over R350 000, R10 000 for cars of between R250 000 and R350 000 and R5 000 for cars below R250 000.

*Exterior pictures taken using NOKIA 6210 Navigator