MINI JOHN COOPER WORKS STUNNINGLY!

After eight laps of burning rubber, squealing tyres at each sharp corner, I knew my time as a little boy was not over. Well, the little boy inside me anyway. In fact, I have only just begun my life as a little boy and I hope one of these days I’ll be screaming down the freeway inside a MINI John Cooper Works. Reminds me of a few months ago when MINI released the JCW in aftermarket kit form as something you could fit into your standard Cooper S for extra power. That day I diced an Audi TT 2.0TFSI on the freeway and the oke could not believe how difficult it was to catch me. Me in the MINI. Him in a R390 000 TT. Not unlike last week. That’s when I had the pleasure of circling around the outskirts of Tshwane in the new MINI JCW, sampling bumps and twists alike.

This car is a real thriller, small and compact, but potent and punchy. It’s the top of the range MINI for now, until the ultra-limited MINI GP comes along. JCW is no longer an add-on kit like the previous versions. It is stock-built at the MINI factory in England.

Using the same turbocharged 1.6-litre found in the Cooper/ Cooper S/ Clubman/ Clubman S ranges, the JCW has upped its game quite a bit by moving from the standard S power figure of 128kW up to 155kW, a number that topples the great Golf GTI’s 147kW. Not that these two are competitors, but the comparison is ominous. Torque comes in at 260Nm, with an overboost function taking it up to 280Nm under quick overtaking acceleration. I felt a good helping of this boost as we negotiated slower-moving traffic around roads made for this handling god. By the time we hit the Zwartkops Raceway’s go-karting track both JCW and I were ready to dance.

What a dance it was. Normally a go-kart track is small, with numerous sharp turns to test the handling of a go-kart. Putting this MINI on one of these was akin to giving Rafael Nadal a table tennis bat in exchange for his racquet. I thought we’d be overcooked but instead we were delighted to no end. The hugging seats provided much-needed lumbar support, even though they were the standard fitment rather than the optional leather bucket ones. As a front-wheel-drive car you’d expect the JCW to offer massive torque steer in relation to its power supply, but this is minimal. Even around sharp corners it goes into a minor oversteer before you can flick it back into “safer” understeer. Of couse such a setup works only if you press the DTC button, aka fun button, for longer than 3 seconds. Careful though; JCW can bite back and come away with some flesh.

MINI says the Clubman version of the JCW is only coming here in March 2009 because of the fact that both cars are supplied with full cosmetic kit as standard wear. Clubman JCW is only getting its kit next year and will have an indicative price of R316 000.

Would I pay the minimum required R299 500 for the MINI JCW? It’s a tough one. On the one hand you have a nuclear device the size of a cell phone to play with, with very little practicality to speak of. On the other you have something like a BMW 125i coupe costing about R5000 more, standard, with 5kW more power but probably slower in a high-altitude region like Gauteng, better rear legroom and better luggage space.

You know in the UK this MINI JCW costs £20 995, which in today’s money works out at roughly R294 000. What to do what to do!